The Do's and Don'ts of Divorce

The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating During Divorce

June 10, 20252 min read

Protect Your Peace, Your Case, and Your Heart

The ink isn’t dry yet, but your heart feels ready or maybe just curious. Dating during divorce is more common than ever, but it’s also full of emotional and legal landmines. Whether you’re seeking comfort, distraction, or a fresh start, it’s essential to understand how dating can impact your healing, your children, and even the outcome of your divorce.

This isn’t about judgment it’s about informed choices. Here’s what to do (and not do) if you’re considering dating before your divorce is finalized.


DO: Check In With Your Motivations

Before swiping or sliding into DMs, ask yourself why you’re dating. Is it for validation? Revenge? Loneliness? Fun?

✅ Be honest about your intentions
✅ Make sure you’re not avoiding grief or self-work
✅ Date from a place of readiness not reaction


DON’T: Use Dating to Hurt Your Ex

Even if you’re over the marriage, using a new relationship as leverage especially in high-conflict cases it often backfires.

🚫 Don’t post photos to provoke or compete
🚫 Don’t introduce a partner just to get a rise
🚫 Don’t weaponize your love life in court, co-parenting, or social media


DO: Know the Legal Risks (Especially With Kids)

Depending on your state and situation, dating can affect custody, alimony, or your credibility in court. Judges and mediators often consider how dating impacts the children.

✅ Talk to your attorney or mediator before getting serious
✅ Avoid overnight visits while children are present
✅ Keep new partners out of legal conversations and proceedings


DON’T: Involve the Kids Too Soon

Even if someone feels like “the one,” kids need stability, not more change. Introducing a new partner too early can create confusion, resentment, or divided loyalty.

🚫 Don’t rush introductions
🚫 Don’t force kids to bond before they’re ready
🚫 Don’t discuss adult relationships in front of young children


DO: Take It Slow — Emotionally and Physically

You’ve just left a major relationship. You’re grieving, adjusting, rebuilding. Give yourself space to rediscover who you are without jumping headfirst into another attachment.

✅ Reflect on what you want in this new season
✅ Let intimacy develop slowly and mindfully
✅ Learn from the past before creating a new future


DON’T: Ignore Red Flags

When you’re vulnerable, it’s easy to overlook toxic patterns. But your post-divorce life deserves better, not just different.

🚫 Don’t tolerate disrespect, dishonesty, or controlling behavior
🚫 Don’t settle out of fear of being alone
🚫 Don’t repeat the same dynamics with a new face


Final Thoughts

Dating during divorce is not inherently wrong but it’s complicated. What matters most is being intentional, honest with yourself, and mindful of how your choices affect your healing, your children, and your future.

Love again but love wisely.

Paige Harley is an accomplished mediator, parent coordinator, and coach specializing in divorce, post-divorce, and custody issues. Not only is she a child of divorce, but she has experienced the loss of her own marriage and understands (all too well) the complexities and emotions involved.

Paige's unique style and approach to divorce and co-parenting has given hope and practical solutions to hundreds of families.

Paige Harley

Paige Harley is an accomplished mediator, parent coordinator, and coach specializing in divorce, post-divorce, and custody issues. Not only is she a child of divorce, but she has experienced the loss of her own marriage and understands (all too well) the complexities and emotions involved. Paige's unique style and approach to divorce and co-parenting has given hope and practical solutions to hundreds of families.

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