The Do’s and Don’ts of Rebuilding Trust (With Yourself and Others) After Divorce

The Do’s and Don’ts of Rebuilding Trust (With Yourself and Others) After Divorce

Divorce can shake your foundation in ways you never expected. When trust has been broken whether through betrayal, years of conflict, or just the unraveling of what once felt secure...it’s not just your trust in others that suffers. You may also find yourself second-guessing you.

Can I trust my judgment again? Can I open up to someone new? Will I ever feel safe in a relationship or even in my own decisions?

The answer is yes. But rebuilding trust is a process and this post offers trauma-informed do’s and don’ts to help you walk that path with awareness, self-compassion, and clarity.

Do’s:

✅ Start With Self-Trust.
The foundation of all other trust is the belief that you will listen to your gut, honor your boundaries, and show up for yourself. Build this muscle one small decision at a time.

✅ Validate Your Instincts...Even If They’ve Been Wrong Before.
Everyone misses red flags sometimes. That doesn’t make you broken-it makes you human. What matters is what you’ve learned and how you’ll move forward.

✅ Go Slow with New Relationships.
You don’t have to dive in to prove you’re “over it.” Take your time. Watch for consistency. Trust is built in tiny, repeated moments not declarations.

✅ Talk to Someone You Can Be Fully Honest With.
A therapist, coach, or friend who won’t judge or pressure you is vital. Processing trust wounds out loud helps you see patterns and make intentional choices.

✅ Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection.
Trust isn’t black and white. Every time you make a healthy choice even when it’s hard you’re strengthening your internal compass.

Don’ts:

🚫 Don’t Blame Yourself for the Past.
It’s easy to spiral into “I should have known better” or “I’ll never get it right.” The truth is, we all see things more clearly in hindsight. Give yourself grace.

🚫 Don’t Let Fear Make All the Decisions.
It’s natural to be cautious after pain. But if fear is running the show, it might keep you from connection, growth, and joy. Learn to recognize when fear is driving and when your deeper self is speaking.

🚫 Don’t Treat All People Like Your Ex.
Not everyone will repeat the patterns you’ve experienced. Give others a chance to show you who they are and believe them when they do.

🚫 Don’t Overcompensate to “Keep the Peace.”
When trust is fragile, you might be tempted to over-please or avoid conflict to hold onto a new relationship. But that’s not real trust ...it's walking on eggshells.

🚫 Don’t Rush It.
There’s no timeline for rebuilding trust. If it takes longer than you thought, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re healing intentionally.

Final Thought:

Rebuilding trust isn’t about forgetting what happened-it’s about honoring your experience and choosing to move forward with wisdom. Whether you’re learning to trust others again or simply yourself, you’re not broken ...you’re becoming whole.