Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts: What You Need to Know Before You File for Divorce

Thinking about divorce is overwhelming. Filing without a plan can make it worse. Before you take that step-whether you’ve been thinking about it for months or just had a breaking-point moment...pause. Getting informed now can save you time, money, emotional distress, and legal complications down the road. Here are 10 key do’s and don’ts to know before you file.

1. Do: Get Informed About the Divorce Process in Your State

Every state has different laws around timelines, separation requirements, property division, and custody.

• Research basic divorce procedures or meet with a mediator or lawyer for a consult.

• Knowing your rights helps you avoid being pressured or misled.

2. Don’t: File Out of Anger or Impulse

Filing for divorce should be a grounded decision, not a reactionary one.

• Make sure you're emotionally and financially prepared.

• Once papers are filed, it sets a legal process in motion that can’t easily be undone.

3. Do: Organize Your Financial Information

Having access to financial records will make or break your case-especially if your spouse is controlling the money.

• Gather tax returns, pay stubs, bank and credit card statements, retirement accounts, and mortgage info.

• Make digital copies and store them safely.

4. Don’t: Drain Accounts or Hide Money

Tempting? Yes. Smart? No. Courts don’t like shady behavior.

• This can backfire and hurt your credibility.

• Instead, consult an attorney about how to protect your financial interests legally.

5. Do: Think About the Kids (Even Adult Ones)

Kids, no matter their age, are affected. Plan for how and when to tell them and how to keep them out of the conflict.

• Avoid blaming language or oversharing.

• Consider family therapy or co-parent coaching as part of the plan.

6. Don’t: Post About It on Social Media

What you post can and will be used against you.

• Rants, memes, even “vaguebooking” can fuel conflict or hurt your credibility in court.

• Take a social media break or filter posts through a “Would I want a judge to see this?” lens.

7. Do: Get Support (Legal, Emotional, or Both)

Divorce is not just a legal process-it’s a life transition.

• Talk to a therapist, divorce coach, or mediator early.

• Don’t wait until you’re drowning to ask for help.

8. Don’t: Assume It Will Be Easy (Even If You're Agreeable)

Even low-conflict divorces can become tense when money, parenting, or hurt feelings show up.

• Mediation is a great option, but still requires preparation and clear boundaries.

• Hope for ease-but prepare for bumps.

9. Do: Decide What Matters Most to You

You likely can’t get everything. So, choose your priorities.

• Is it parenting time? Financial stability? Peace of mind?

• Knowing what matters most can guide every decision you make.

10. Don’t: Let Fear Delay a Necessary Decision

If you’ve been walking on eggshells or in chronic distress, waiting doesn’t usually make things better.

• Fear is real-but so is your need for safety, clarity, and peace.

• Get the support you need to move forward wisely.

Final Thought:

Filing for divorce is a major step-but it doesn’t have to be chaotic. When you slow down, get informed, and create a plan, you’re far more likely to come out of the process feeling empowered instead of wrecked. You deserve that.